Months in the Making: The Mission Decision

On September 6th I received my mission call to the Uruguay Montevideo Mission.  On September 21st I had the great privilege and blessing of receiving my endowment in the Provo Utah Temple.  Previous to, during, and after this latter event, I had been pondering my call to serve and if it was the Lord's will for me to go to Uruguay, or if it was His will for me to stay here in Provo.  I have spent the past three months pondering this pending decision.  I have prayed, studied the words of prophets both modern and of old, pondered upon my patriarchal blessing, fasted, received priesthood blessings, and gave particular and sufficient thought to which path I shall take at this fork in the road.  I genuinely want to do what God wants me to do, and I have the feeling that He is genuinely pleased with whichever path I take.  I have the feeling He is leaving this up to me, which is scary and really cool at the same time.  He trusts me to make my decisions and to continue to follow His plan and the example of His Son regardless of the road I take.

This past Wednesday I went on a date with a young man from my ward.  We went to an art exhibit in the BYU Museum of Art called Sacred Gifts, with paintings of Christ from Denmark and other wonderful places.  As we talked about the figures in a particular painting, we turned to the topic of decisions.  Lots of people today condemn mistakes, but mistakes are how we learn.  We cannot let the fear of mistakes get in the way of taking action, as we came to this Earth to take action and develop our faith in God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ and the plan They have laid out for us.
As we spoke, a talk came to mind.  I do not remember where or when I read or heard this talk, but when I got home I looked it up.  The talk is called Wrong Roads and Revelation, and was given by Matthew Holland, son of Jeffrey R. Holland.

The story goes that Matthew and his dad were driving a path in the evening, and came to a fork in the road.  They could not remember which way they had come from, and as the darkness was deepening they knew they had to make a decision quickly.  Father and son bowed their heads in prayer, asking for guidance.  Upon opening their eyes they agreed with one another that they felt they should take the left fork.  Ten minutes down the road they came to a dead end.  They turned around, returned to the fork, and now took the right path.
As they drove home, the young boy was troubled.  Why had they felt the distinct impression that they should take the left fork, if it was the right fork that would take them home?  Jeffrey Holland told his son that if they had taken the right path on the first try, they may have driven the road in doubt and fear that they had chosen poorly.  Perhaps their doubts would have become so strong that they would have turned around as the path lengthened out in front of them and the night fell.  However, by taking the left path to the dead end first, they could then take the right path with full confidence knowing it would take them home all in due time.

I feel this story can be applied to my decision with serving a full time mission.  I was fully prepared and willing to serve the Lord, and I still am.  It seems to me that I had to learn a few things first by submitting my mission papers and receiving my call, and then I could recognize that the other fork seemed a better choice for me at this time.  The mission road was not a dead end, as I formed many good habits and rid myself of unpleasing ones in the process of preparing myself for a mission.  I also had the opportunity to go through the temple and serve others with new-found understanding, motivation, and love.  But in this case I most certainly had to go through B to get from A to C.  I had to go through this experience of taking the left fork in order to take the right fork with more confidence, as well as a better understanding and more devoted heart.

I am so grateful that my Heavenly Father lets me make decisions.  I am beyond grateful that He has guided and helped me along this winding road, and I know He will continue to offer me His help and advice as I continue down this path.

So for now, I am not going on a mission to Uruguay.  I do indeed have a mission call to be a disciple of Christ, and I am working on perfecting myself, redeeming the dead, preaching the gospel in other ways, and caring for the poor and needy through service and love.  I am open to the twists and turns this path will take me on, and I am so so SO happy and thankful I have been blessed with wonderful parents, sisters, and friends to help me on this delightful journey of life.

Even if I end up slipping on the rougher patches, I think I can handle the adventures headed my way.