Did Not Our Heart Burn?

Let me just say, I love this video.

I love the two disciples' reaction as Christ is about to depart from them and they ask Him to stay the evening with them.  They didn't recognize Jesus with whom they walked, because "their eyes were holden that they should not know him" (Luke 24:16 KJV).  I don't think it was only out of politeness that they asked Him to abide with them, or even because He was expounding "in all the scriptures the things concerning himself."  I think it was because they felt the Spirit as He spoke.  They felt it powerfully testifying of the truths He taught, and comforting their sad countenances.  Recognizing that feeling, they invited Him to stay, just a little longer.

"Did not our heart burn within us?" (Verse 32)

I want to be as the disciples along the road to Emmaus.  I want to be able to recognize that Spirit speaking to me, testifying to me, comforting me.  I want to be able to choose the paths that allow Him to stay.  I want to have the courage and initiative to invite Him to abide with me, in all that I do.  And I want to be able to say with confidence "Did not my heart burn within me?"

I want God to guide me as I walk the roads on this Earth, and I know He can do so if I live my life in a way that the Holy Ghost can direct my paths.

My goal is to get better at creating quiet, calm moments, where I can pay attention to how I feel and how the Spirit communicates with me.  Along my own road to Emmaus, I hope I'll be able to say at the end, that my heart could feel it all along the way.

If You're Happy & You Know It

The title's a bit of a joke; it comes from the KJV of John 13:17 where Jesus Christ says "If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them."

Christ is talking about following His example, perhaps particularly of offering humble service, as He had just washed the feet of His twelve apostles who sat with Him for dinner.  However, what I absolutely love about this scripture is Christ's choice of the word "do."

Not "happy are ye if ye know them," or "happy are ye if ye believe them," and not even "happy are ye if ye do them every once in a while."  Happy are we if we continually do as Christ has done.  If we get up and move the bodies we've been given to serve those in need, be they strangers, family, friend, or someone we honestly just do not get along with.

Sometimes it takes a lot to give thoughtful, meaningful, humble service.  It takes courage to speak up and offer something you're not sure will be wanted.  It takes patience to serve someone who does not want to be served or is ungrateful for your service.  It takes charity and effort to be genuine in your deeds of kindness.  And heck, it takes a lot of time.

But you get so much more than you put in!  "Happy are ye..."!  By getting out of our personal bubble and catering to someone else's needs, our emotional tanks are refueled with happiness and love and a perspective that allows us to be strong through our own tough times and downs.

I'm straight up challenging each of you to find someone to serve this week.  If you want, take careful time to think about someone in need and what you can meaningfully bring to their life.  Or, just keep service in mind, and when you run into a stranger in distress take that courage to reach out.  I can promise you that the Savior's words are true: that when we serve others as He served, we can bring happiness into our lives and others'.

It's a win-win-win for us, them, and God.

How will you serve this week?

Light Light

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Good heavens.  What a week past, what a day present, what a semester ahead.

I am so tired.  I am so weighed down.  I am so defeated.

Over the weekend, while listening to M. Russell Ballard speak of waves, words describing my current feelings came to mind:

buffeted
                    turmoil  
                                     riptide
                                                      tossed
                                                                         storm
                                                                                          drifting
                                                                                                              sinking
           

                                                                                                                               lost.


When Jesus Christ invites all to come unto Him, He promises rest.
Yet from the storms of insecurity, schedules, to-do lists, stress, sin, and life He does not promise a ship impenetrable to the winds, rain, and waves.

Instead He promises a light burden.

Thinking of the many changes in my life that I have made in order to follow Jesus Christ more closely and faithfully, I realize those changes have not been easy.  In fact, I wouldn't say they have been light at all.
But they certainly, one hundred percent, definitely have brought light.

"...my burden is light."

Following Jesus Christ does not mean a life without storms, a ship without waves, a burden without weight; it means meaning, purpose, direction, and ultimately eternal happiness, through all of that.

It means that when I am soaked by the rain I can look up and know I have a Redeemer who has suffered for both my spiritual mistakes and my stressful academic life in order to know how to help me.


It means that when I am tossed overboard I can swim and know I have a specific path to follow that will help me be closer to Him and happiness.



It means that when I am sinking, and it seems like the darkness of the depths of the sea has engulfed me, I can hold onto the light that He is, and know that I am not alone.

Take up His yoke.  Trade your burden for His.

Come, follow Jesus Christ.

Doubt & Instant Gratification

"And when the tempter came to him, he said, 'If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.'"

This scripture, Matthew 4:3, demonstrates two very effective ways Satan tempts us: doubt and instant gratification.

"If thou be the Son of God.."
With that first word, "if," Satan begins to plant seeds of doubt.
If the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true, then this.
If the Book of Mormon is the word of God, then that.
If God exists, then I would feel it.

Satan seems to take a rather logical approach, using an age-old part of the way we think: if this, then that.
If Jesus is the Son of God, then He would have the power to change those stones into bread.  If He was the Son of God, then He would have the power to do anything.  So why was it not okay for Christ to use His priesthood to perform a miracle and create food, especially when He must have been so terribly hungry after having just fasted for a very long time?

"...Command that these stones be made bread."
Instant gratification.  Use your power, your abilities, your gifts from God to serve yourself right here, and right now; that's what Satan was trying to get Christ to do.  He's hungry!  He is about to begin His earthly ministry, which will end mortally with His Atonement for the spiritual and physical deaths of all mankind!  Why can He not use His God-given abilities to make some food to eat?

Because the gospel of Jesus Christ was, and still is never about satisfying yourself.

Think of all your God-given gifts, powers, abilities, and blessings.

Your body, your mind, your talents (yes, you have many talents, don't try to deny!), the small amount of money you do have if you're a struggling college student like me, and so many other things He has given and continues to bless us with.  These are not meant to be used to please ourselves.  We should not use our bodies' procreative powers to satisfy our own lustful desires, we must use them to strengthen marital bonds and bring forth children.  We should not use our wonderful intellectual abilities to deceive and get gain over others, we must use them to build up the kingdom of God and value wisdom and knowledge from all fronts.  We must not use what God has given us to get even more for ourselves; but as He has given, we should also give, which is freely and with love.

"We make a living by what we get.  We make a life by what we give."

I'm not saying it would have been inherently bad for Christ to turn those stones to bread, and He would even go on to perform miracles with bread later on.  (We experience a bread-ly miracle from Him each week as we partake of bread and water during the sacrament to renew our baptismal covenants with Him.)
I am saying that Christ delivered to us a very prominent example of what we should be doing with what God has given us, and how we can grow closer to both of Them through serving others instead of satisfying ourselves.

What can you do to serve someone today?

Thy Prayer is Heard

When Zacharias went up to the temple, an angel appeared unto him saying “Fear not, Zacharias: for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John."

By now, both Zacharias and Elisabeth were both "well stricken in years," and finally the Lord decides to bless them with a child; what took Him so long?  Where was the blessing for His obedient servants earlier in their lives?  Where was His answer after the first prayer?  Or the tenth?

After years, years, of prayers and obedience to the Lord, Zacharias and Elisabeth were finally blessed with an answer, blessed with a child.  And the truth is that all those years, years, of praying, they were heard.  Every single prayer, whether uttered aloud on their knees or a silent plea with a glance heavenward, every prayer was heard by God, our Heavenly Father.

Something that is hard to remember, and hard to understand, is that just because God does not answer our prayers, it does not mean He has not heard them.

In a recent regional conference for Utah Valley, Elder Richard G. Scott said that when God does not answer, it is because He trusts us.  He trusts us to take the necessary faith and action to continue to do what He has asked us to do, even if we are unsure of its validity or meaning or merit.  He trusts us to continue to give of our time and efforts to seek after truth and knowledge.  He trusts us to be humble and open our hearts.  

He trusts us to trust Him.  

God's silence is a message in itself: that in this life we are in a stage of growth.  We get to choose the path we walk.  What will we do when His silence follows our prayers; Will we continue to let our faith in Him blossom and grow through obedience?  Or will we wither and shrink in the face of doubt and inaction?


Above all, remember: "Thy prayer is heard."

God lives.  God loves.  God listens.

You Are More (Than Just Another Human)

"An estimate of the total number of humans who have ever lived was prepared by Carl Haub of the nonprofit Population Reference Bureau in 1995, and was subsequently updated in 2002 and 2011; the 2011 figure was approximately 107 billion."

One hundred and seven billion people.  More here today.  More to come tomorrow and beyond.

I am not alone in being human.

I am not alone in being imperfect.

And even if I were the one and only sinner in the world, the only one who ever made mistakes, He still would have given His life for me.  I am more than just another human; He knows me.

Don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made;

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes;

You are more than the problems you create;

You've been remade.

                         -You Are More by Tenth Avenue North

I testify that Jesus Christ, through the Atonement, has paved the way for change.

I testify that following Him is the only way to true, eternal joy.

I testify that He lives and loves perfectly.

I testify that you are worth everything to Him.

Are You There God? It's Me, And Organic Chemistry

This is the tale of one of the tests I have taken for Organic Chemistry, with many more tests forthcoming in the fall.
This is also the story of one of the many trials I have had in my life, with many more tribulations yet in store.
And this additionally plays as part of my account of the omniscience, tender mercies, and love from God.

At the beginning of May I took my first Organic Chemistry test and got an A.  Wait, what?  Wasn't this class supposed to be hard?  Wasn't it pretty much insane to take it during an accelerated Spring term?  Wasn't I supposed to fail the tests?  Well, all I had to do was give things a little more time, and eventually the answer certainly became "yes" to all of those questions.

The second test's grade was much lower, resulting in my eager and desperate attempts to prepare for the third test coming up only a week and a half later.  In the mornings I attended lectures or recitation classes.  In the afternoons I took my textbook and solution's manual with me everywhere; the OChem lab, the lab I work in, the porch, the doctor's office, my bedroom, my kitchen table, my productivity blanket (which I generally lay out on the floor to get my homework done on by the way), everywhere!  I dreamed about synthesizing organic molecules!  Those books became part of me, an external organ needed to survive.  Granted, I definitely had days where I needed and took a break, often too much of one.  But I tried so hard to prepare for this third test.  Which is why I was so disappointed when I saw my grade.

There were tears shed, and anger and guilt, and concerned roommates, but mostly a lot of frustration and stress.  How could I have tried harder and done worse?  That didn't make sense!  That was discouraging!  That sucked!  Exasperated, I eventually dried my tears and tried to be okay.  The day went on, getting better (though when you're already down it's hard to go anywhere but up), and at the end of the day I found myself on my knees, praying.

I poured out my heart.  I told God about my day, about how that test sucked, and about how I knew I was going to be okay but I couldn't quite see how right now.  I just talked, just wanting to be near to Him, my Heavenly Father.

While I knelt in prayer, I took a moment to just be there.  To keep my thoughts quiet, my lips still, and my mind focused.  I took notice of the actuality of God, re-realizing that I was speaking not to, but with a very real Being.  After emptying my heart I sat hushed, waiting to see what He would fill it with.  Then He reminded me of what I had forgotten to arm myself with that day; gratitude.  My heart became filled with gratitude.  For the people who saved the day.  For the support I received before, during, and after all this mess.  For the tender mercies of telephones, big hugs, ice cream, and family.  For everything I did remember how to do on the exam.  For even the problems I couldn't work out.  For room to progress.  For my life, even if I am very stressed right now.

As I knelt there just feeling, I recognized the completeness I felt as my Father in Heaven and I connected.  The feeling I got felt a bit like a hug.  Not the squeezy-I-haven't-seen-you-in-forever kind, or even the it's-okay-if-your-tears-soak-my-shirt kind, but more like He was trying to tell me "Hey trooper; I know it's been hard.  Keep going, alright?  Keep going, go get 'em, give your best, everything will be okay."  Because I didn't need the squeezy kind of hug, or even the tear-soaking kind right then.  I needed the encouraging and empathizing kind of hug, so that is exactly what He gave me.

I believe in a God who knows me, perfectly.  He also knows Organic Chemistry, perfectly, and how the two of us aren't meshing too well right now.

I know He is listening.  I know He is ready to help.  I know His help is perfect, just like He is.

Reach out; Seek Him; He is waiting and wanting to give you, His child, your hug today.

Nerds & Never-ending Stories

Nerd Alert: I'm a huge Lord of the Rings fan.  And Narnia fan.  And Doctor Who fan.  And anyone who has ever read or seen any of these, or perhaps any other story, understands the emotional difficulties in saying goodbye (I mean, I hope, because if it's just me then that's odd...).

Allow me to demonstrate:  I have an almost love-hate relationship with my ultimate favorite trilogy, the Lord of the Rings.  Now toss in the Hobbit and you've got a decent set of four books, or six three hour films to keep you going for a while, and even longer if you go for the extended versions and all the other Tolkien offerings.  Every time I watch the movies or read the books I am enthralled again and again by the tales, adventures, morals, and every word constructed into a world of imagination.  Though I have gone through the plot a dozen times, it still has the power to captivate me and open my mind and heart.  The latter part of this most often happens at the end; as the last page is turned or the last scene displayed, I get all teary-eyed and rooted to the spot as I linger over the last tidbits of this adventure.  It's so awfully sad, so depressing that the story ends.  Yet I think I've figured out why.

It goes against the truth.  Whether you know it consciously or not, you existed before your life on this planet, and you will continue to exist far after your mortal death here.  You are an eternal being, extending both into the past and future indefinitely.  You have not a beginning, nor an end, for you will always be. So when these stories seem to drift to a close and your heart yearns for more, recognize the truth that is being testified to you:  Your story never ends, and the eternal adventure must go on.

What will you write into your never-ending story of life today?

Here's a wonderful story of a young man who uses this principle to overcome a trial in his life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYRb4DNf8wc

Oh Oregon: Video Post

Adventures from Thanksgiving Break 2013:

View on Vimeo here.

Would Have Been

Today is Thursday.
Today is January 30th, 2014.
Today is the day I would have entered the Argentina MTC en route to the Uruguay Montevideo Mission for an eighteen-month mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

But here I am.

A few months ago I made a post about how I made my decision to stay at Brigham Young University and serve the Lord in other capacities instead of serving an LDS full time mission at this time.  In just the short amount of time I have made that decision and stuck to it, I have learned a great deal about my relationship with God.  I have been able to serve His children, my peers, in a fuller capacity than before.  I have learned that all I have comes from my Heavenly Father, so keenly aware of my needs and tribulations each and every hour.  Perhaps most importantly I have learned that this is where I need to be at this time.

Tonight was also Poetry Night for me, my roommates, and others we invited into our home to share in some fun.  Some may say by coincidence, but I disagree, that Robert Frost's poem The Road Not Taken was one of the first poems we shared.  All of today I have thought about today's date, and how if I had taken the other path before me I would be on another continent right now, prepared for a very different sort of adventure.  This poem hit home, as I pondered the many forks in the road that we may encounter, and how I took the one less traveled by in the plans of my life.  If I could only choose one principle which I have taken from this turn of events, it would be to trust God with all of my heart, always willing, and never doubting.

And that has made all the difference.

Strike That; Reverse It

In the 1971 Willy Wonka film (a movie that I hope all of you have seen or I may be getting old), Gene Wilder proclaims the famous line "So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it."  As the year 2013 has ended and 2014 has begun I have felt the effects of the Earth's rotations on my desire to achieve, complete, and progress.  Just a little over three and a half weeks ago I concocted a list of goals and checkpoints I wish to accomplish for this year.  A little over three and a half weeks in, I realize that this may not be as easy as I had thought.

One of my favorite books holds the line, "This life is the time for men to prepare to meet God...the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors."  I hold that to heart as each day I try a little harder to be a little better, to prepare to meet my Heavenly Father and let Him know that I sure did put a lot of effort into this existence of mine.  Reading those words, I think of the goals I have set, some in fun, some in preparation for the future, but all in the desire to be a better me; more well-rounded, more kind, more organized, and more Christ-like.  Reading those words, I think of the immense amount of tasks and progress I want to complete, but the contradicting sliver of time I am given to stuff them all into.  

And then I realize I've got it all wrong.

I do not have so much to do and so little time, and I do not have so much time and so little to do.  It's like I'm Goldilocks, and everything is "just right."  My life here on Earth is not the beginning, nor the end.  I existed and lived before, and I will continue to exist and live after.  So in reality I have much more time than I think I do (and also more to get done).  I'm certainly not saying I should procrastinate the goals I have set here, as it is clear I have an overall achievement to reach: prepare to meet God.  Yet does that mean I will be perfect when I meet my Father?  Oh no.  No, no, no.  I'll probably still be barefoot and crazy (hey wait...isn't that perfection?), with a lot more to work on.  But that's the thing, if I was perfect then I wouldn't have anything to do with my eternal life, nothing to do with what comes next.  So bring on the days and weeks that seem to fly by.  Bring on the milestones reached, achievements collected, and goals left for another day.  I will embrace the rotations of the planet, the revolutions that leave me reflecting and planning, and the many, many adventures along the way.

 

"Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."

Joy, not stress you guys. Joy.